Devil, they say.

You are what mankind believes to be the devil. However, there are three things that they've got all wrong. 1- Everyone goes to Heaven, no matter what they do in life. 2- You're the only one who's ever escaped Heaven. 3- Heaven is absolutely fucked.

God, God, God. I'm going to punch the next one who talks about how perfect and merciful and whatever he is. How can people be so stupid to think there's something good in a being who thinks of himself as perfect? Yet here they are, all of them adoring him under a different name. And dumb enough to think they're different, and to fight and die in his name. And he's there enjoying all of this.
People stop to admire the Duomo, too great of a building for the little thing whose name it represents, while I admire them. But admire is too big of a word for what I'm doing. I just like looking at each different person and imagine who they are, what they think, how they'll die and which place they'll be assigned to up there. In that so called Heaven. What even is Heaven? How can they be so sure to know anything? Just 'cause someone came here too long ago and started telling tales? I would advice them to be a little more careful, but the last time didn't go so well. The last times, to be exact. In the end I was the bad guy.
In the end, I think people just want someone to guide them, to say what's right and what's not. And I arrived too late to be that someone.
It'd not be a big problem if I wasn't so compassionate. I wanted to save some of them, but they won't listen. And the ones who do it… Well, they hear what they want to hear. Virgin sacrifices, really? Who would want some virgins to die just for them to feel cooler? Except the great guy up there, I mean.
I don't even know how I escaped that Heaven, I just know I'm glad I did it. It was… ironically, it was what humans today would call Hell. I'd really want to see their faces discovering the reality, but at their difference I'm not stupid enough to go back there. Some of them will even be happy, maybe, discovering how it is.
And how it is, you're asking me? Messed up, at least. God, or whatever you want to call him, is just an egocentric bastard. And if you're up there (and, when you die, you end up up there), you're the unptheent person who has to go and tell him how awesome he is and spend the rest of your time (ergo, the eternity) adoring and serving him.

So yeah, I'm happy to be escaped. And I think you should have a talk with me if you don't want to end up there… But, hey, it's up to you. Maybe you'd like that eternity, who knows.